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20 July 2005 @ 09:59 pm
I've had a strange couple of days. I mean that in a (potentially) good way though.

The training thing was basically a motivational speaking course. I've been to a couple of these things before, and they'd never had an effect on me until now. I mean, I felt really quite positive when I was finished today. I heard some nice things about me and a couple of constructive criticisms of my attitude (ie that I'm far, far too laid back - which I knew already - and sometimes it looks like I'm not interested in things even though I am), which I took on board and will try to work on. Hell, I even got a compliment on my "gorgeous" eyes. This made me happy on the inside.

Until I got home, that is. The course finished about half an hour late, and after me and Mum dropped off Rachel, we didn't get back till an hour after it was over. Thus, Dad was pissed off at me because we were late and he wasn't able to get his tea until we got back. Now, for one thing, it wasn't my fault we were late. Secondly, anytime we're all at home, we all eat together, but it's not a problem when one of us isn't there for whatever reason. Now this really bugged me because he seemed to be taking it out on me and I ended up leaving the table for a minute to cool down - something I never do. This was about 3 hours ago and I haven't talked to him since.

I ended up sitting in the garden for an hour or so afterwards, just thinking over things. I called Nicola and talked for like 15 minutes. She said that during my call to her from T, I'd said some rather bizarre things, to which I replied that I didn't want to know ever what they were. Now, I get the feeling what I'd said might have offended her or something because when we were out on Saturday, she was acting a little different towards me. Add that to the fact that I've been trying to arrange a trip (no, not a date) to the cinema for me and her. She's busy tomorrow and Friday, I'm going out on Saturday and she seems to be going up to Aberdeen for no apparent reason on Sunday. I honestly have no idea what to think, and I don't know if chasing after her is such a good idea after all.

Actually, I forgot to mention that I had a random visit from Jo on Friday. Man, it was great to see her, but still a shock at the same time. I mean, I hadn't seen her in months and she and her friend randomly call and say they're coming up as they were in town. It was great shooting the breeze with her and Lee again, seeign as it had been so long. Fast forward to tonight and I've just been talking to her. We were both bitching about the fact that we were single, yet didn't know if we wanted to stay that way or not. Add that to the fact that we both would have loved to get together all those months ago, hadn't it been for the fact that she wasn't ready and that neither of us have still ruled it out happening ever. I don't think anything will happen right now, but shit, I want it to. It's all so confusing. Hey, it's 4 months ago!

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